LADIES, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING SURVEY IF YOU’RE CONTEMPLATING serious romance.

On Valentine’s Day, does he:
a. bring you flowers?
b. send you a romantic card?
c. tell you how lucky you are to be his valentine?

When he takes you out for dinner, does he take you to:
a. an expensive restaurant?
b. McDonald’s?
c. his mother’s?

After dinner, does he:
a. hold your hand and thank you for joining him?
b. look intently into your eyes and tell you how much he loves you?
c. pat you on the back and say he forgot his wallet?

When he kisses you, does he:
a. sigh and keep both eyes closed?
b. moan and keep both eyes open?
c. say, “All right! Can we do it again?”

Following a romantic evening, does he:
a. say sweet nothings in your ear?
b. say your name over and over again?
c. ask you your name?

If you answered them all correctly, reserve a space at the chapel! Pick out the furniture. (Oh, by the way, you decide which answers are correct).

Half of them right? We all have to compromise. Hopefully, he’s at least good-looking.

None right? Some hit pay-dirt…you hit dirt! Lose him quickly. He’s slime. Join a convent. Seek professional help, but don’t give up on love. Remember, the loneliest place in the world is the human heart where love is absent. So keep on searching for the right guy. Love may not make the world go around, but it sure makes the trip worthwhile.